Today was a blast. From the panels to the people, GlitchCon 2015 delivered. The Mad-Lib panel was a riot and earned it’s own post from earlier today. The Badges and Books panel brought a great discussion of cops in literature and great insight from Saranna De Wylde about life as a prison guard (Dear, Saranna, if you EVER need anything, I’m on your side). And my final panel, What Publishers Look For featured Tommy Hancock of Pro Se Publishing and Selina Rosen of Yard Dog Press, knocked the varnish off what it takes to be a successful writer.
The Twins met some of their Anime heroes, Jeremy Inman, Cynthia Cranz, and Kristen McGuire.
And of course, the Cos Players.
One of the fun things about going go comic book conventions is taking part in panels. One in particular brought tears to my eyes. The panel is called Mad-Lib. An author takes a scene from their book, removes strategic nouns, verbs and adjectives. Then you ask the audience to provide the missing words, without them knowing what the scene is about.
I took a scene from my debut novel, The Hand of God . The scene I chose takes place near the end of the novel and is of a more sensual nature. I did a group participation, taking the first word shouted out. Hilarity ensued. Her is the altered scene, with the new words highlighted in bold.
I told Samantha I was going to take a shower. I smelled like a binocular, and was covered in bananas, both my own and others. I sat a penguin on the nightstand and told her if anything or anyone tried to come through the door, run it. I went into the bathroom, stripped down, turned the water on scalding hot, and stepped into the shower. I was bone tired and the adrenaline rush had long since passed.
I leaned my head against the shower wall and tried to think of poison. I had to stop charging like a policeman and start planning ahead.
I heard the bathroom door open, then the shower curtain slide back and Samantha joined me. It was clear it was her body that made the dress look good and not the other way around. For one of the few times in my life, I was speechless. Our eyes met and hers were full of celery. She took the bicycle and started to slowly waddle as we kissed. My hands aimed. The touch of her skin felt electric when melted. When her hands moved down my stomach and then lower, I took the Jedi from her hand and spat.
I turned her around and tortured her. While we swallowed, she leaned back against me and ran her seltzer as I kissed her neck and shoulders. I’d never wanted a woman more than I did Samantha and from her response, I could tell she felt the same for me.
When we finished, the tiny motel bathroom now felt like a sauna. We took turns juicing. She gently stroked the milk shake and the wound on my arm where I’d been shot earlier. She kissed horribly and while I’m not sure they felt any better, I know I damn well didn’t care.
We made our way back into the other room, pulled back the bedding and rode. We made love again, this time in a slow, tender way that was a total contrast to how the rest of the evening had gone. When we finished, she laid her head on my chest and I played with her still damp hair.
“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him.” — Autobiography of Mark Twain
It’s amazing how many of these type characters keep showing up in my work. The scariest things are not always the insane ax wielding, hockey mask wearing, lunatic. What scares me more is the kind elderly old lady who slips arsenic into your wine (yes, I’m talking about Arsenic and Old Lace). Or the Ted Bundy’s of the world, who neighbors claimed was a wonderful man, always willing to lend a hand. And then take it from you, literally.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for the Jason Vorehees of the world, in literature and film. But beware the man with the wide smile, the helping hand and the knife hidden up his sleeve.
Here is the ebook cover for the soon to be released Victor McCain short story, Nightmare. I apologize in advance to Mimi Flaherty, who once jumped up in the middle of the isle and screamed at the top of her lungs when I nudged the popcorn bucket with my foot at Showcase Cinemas and said, “Mouse.” She didn’t think the joke was all that funny. The cover design is by the always brilliant, Karri Klawiter.
I grew up on a rural route outside of La Grange, Kentucky. These are a few stories from those days.
One afternoon, when I was around 15 years old, I volunteered to make dinner for the family. My mother had a really hard day in her shop and I wanted to make life easier on her. I got out one of her cookbooks, looked up a recipe for roast beef with sides, made note of what I needed and made the trip to the grocery store.
I made the meal, destroying the kitchen in the process, set the table and served dinner. How did I do? My mother, two brothers and I, ended up eating fast food. When I put the remains of the meal down for the dogs, they sniffed the food and walked away, leaving their plates untouched.
My father, however, ate two helpings of every thing and complimented me on my cooking.
I told you that story to tell you this one:
Tonight my wife made one of those ready to go pasta dishes. My wife and twin girls ate very little of their pasta, disliking the dish completely. I, on the other hand, ate two helpings.
They say at some point we become our parents. It seems I have arrived.
It was announced earlier today that Marvel and Director Spike Lee have cast Will Smith as Spider-Man in the next installment of the venerable series entitled “Spider-Man: Return to Innocence.” The movie also star Dakota Fanning as Parker’s love interest, John Stamos, Macaulay Culkin and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as new villain “Dirty Mike”.
In further Return to Innocence news it has been learned Academy Award nominated screenwriter, Sylvester Stallone, has been tapped to write the screenplay. When asked about the rumor, Stallone replied, “No comment” but was overheard at a Taco Bell telling a clerk the inside story. Marvel and director Spike Lee want Stallone to bring the Rocky magic to Return to Innocence, with the iconic web crawler cast in the under dog roll to Johnson. Stallone said, “They want a “Rocky I” or “Rocky II” kind of vibe for the new Spider-Man movie, but have asked in no way that I give the script a “Rocky IV” or “Rocky IV” kind of treatment but would settle for it being like “Rocky III.”
Stallone went on to say he planned to make Fanning’s character an under cover Russian spy who is a member of SPECTRE, leaving the door open for a Spider-Man / James Bond crossover, with Stallone himself taking over for Daniel Craig when he decides to give up his Walther PPK.