Things I Know: 

If you put a metal pot in the microwave to warm up chili, the lightning inside will melt the rubber top. 

If you wear a green and yellow checkered three piece suit to a play, people will point at you. 

If you put even the tiniest drop of Dawn Dish Washing Detergent in a dish washer, you will be able to hear the suds as they move across the floor. 

You will feel stupid if you wonder out loud if Friday the 13th and Halloween have ever fallen on the same day. 

You will know there is one person on the planet more dense than you after the person next to you says, “I think it has.”

If you wear a Fair Bear Suit to a county fair in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky, drunk men at a gun booth will try and shoot you. 

If someone were to write the book “Everything There is to Know About Women”  it would NOT be a man. 

If you misspell the same word three different ways on the same term paper in eighth grade, your teacher will be sure to tell everyone else. 

The greatest thing in life is hearing four words: I love you daddy. 

If you buy orange juice and someone asks you, “Is it fresh?” and you respond “It should be, I just bought it” they will not believe it was a joke. 

If you watch a Kentucky Final Four basketball game on a small monitor in a hospital emergency room and you begin to yell, they will call security. 

You don’t want to hear the guy sitting in the row in front of you on a plane say, “I think having that extra helping of your mom’s baked beans may have been a mistake.”

What are some of the things you know?